If you're gone
by crazymiko
Summary: Edited/re-written, Songfic, 5xSP


I think I've already lost you

Hello minna-san! This is my first second attempt at a Gundam Wing fic of any type so I'm not sure how it will turn out, hopefully okay. I don't know what I was thinking/smoking when I thought this up.(Actually I was half delirious from some Tylenol and was experiencing the massive headache from hell) All I can say is that when I heard the song for some reason I thought about Wufei. There are a few things in this songfic that you need to know, it is 5xSP, Wufei and Sally share an apartment, and they are/were dating in this songfic. And Wufei may be a little OOC, but he may not be time can change people, this is set a year after the Marimaya incident. Be gentle when you review! (please review, flames welcome)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. If anyone thought I did they should get their heads examined. If I owned GW it would be a lot longer than it already is and I wouldn't be writing this. Gundam Wing belongs to its respective companies. The song belongs to Matchbox 20.

Authoresses note: If you're gonna flame me mail it to: [Relena_Darlin_Peacecraft@gundamwing.net][1] That way it will be properly dealt with. Oh yeah one more thing! Wufei's POV!

04/24/2001 7:14:10 PM: Big revision finished, what does everyone think?

If you're gone-Matchbox 20

_I think I've already lost you_

_I think you're already gone_

_I think I'm finally scared now_

_You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong_

_I think you're already leaving_

_Feels like your hand is on the door_

_I thought this place was an empire_

_But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure_

I sit and watch the woman sitting next to me out of the corner of my eye. I can't help but wonder if she knew understood what an effect she had on me. Does she know that I love her so? She has said it to me so many times before but I am hesitant to tell her back. I have even told my friends I love her, but I still can't seem to say it to her face. I love her dearly but the pain of Meiran's death still echoes in my mind. I'm afraid that if she rejects me I would be able to stand the extra pain. An irrational and weak fear, I already know she loves me. I take one last look at her before I pick up my jacket and leave the office trying to think of a way to apologize to her for my recent behavior, I wonder how she puts up with me?

_I think you're so mean - I think we should try_

_I think I could need - this in my life_

_I think I'm just scared - I think too much_

_I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing_

At the florist's shop I looked at a bouquet of tiger lilies. Those were also her favorite flowers, though she is a tiger herself; deadly and beautiful. I can't help but think about our fight. I should have swallowed my pride and begged for forgiveness though I know I don't deserve it. Instead I help my head arrogantly and watched as she carefully packed, I never thought she would actually leave. Now that she's gone I realize how much I miss and love her, I now know I took her for granted, I overlooked the fact that as forgiving as she is, she can't always just forgive and forget without an apology from me._ _

_If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home_

_There's an awful lot of breathing room_

_But I can hardly move_

_If you're gone - baby you need to come home_

_Cuz there's a little bit of something me_

_In everything in you_

Entering the office after my excursion to the flower shop I noticed Sally had already left, all her papers are in neat stacks on her desk, a new pile of them on mine. I put the lilies in a vase and gently set them on her desk. I take a moment to inspect the pictures in the various frames. I see one of our whole group, I still can't remember how Maxwell managed to get Heero and I to pose for it. Most of them are pictures of her parents and some are candid shots of the others. There is one of Heero and Relena kissing, I wonder if Heero knows she has this picture on her desk. Just as I'm about to halt my inspection of her desk I see one frame that is laying face down at the edge of the desk, as if it had been too painful to look at, something to be pushed away. Carefully I turn the frame over it's a picture of…us? It was a picture of us at one of Quatre's parties…dancing. I now understand why it was pushed away, my heart started to ache in longing for that part of our relationship, we were so happy together, not that I ever really showed it. I put it back in its previous resting place, I could feel the tears in my eyes but I won't let them fall, I am not weak, I will not cry.

_I bet you're hard to get over_

_I bet the room just won't shine_

_I bet my hands I can stay here_

_I bet you need - more than you mind_

_ _I came in the next morning hoping Sally would be standing in the doorway ready to accept me again with open arms. My hopes were dashed as I saw the vase on my desk with a little folded slip of paper. I unfolded it expecting a note but instead it was blank, I wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean but I was sure it had some significance, perhaps if I can ever get Sally to forgive me she will tell me its message. But how could I tell her everything I wanted to tell her, I opened my mouth once but closed it again. I don't know what to say to her.

_I think you're so mean - I think we should try_

_I think I could need - this in my life_

_I think I'm just scared - that I know too much_

_I can't relate and that's a problem_

_I'm feeling_

I'm so angry with myself why can't I simply tell the woman I love that I'm sorry and I love her? Why can't I? Is it my pride? Or is it my fear? Either way I have only myself to blame for my shortcomings. I swallow my pride and fear, I can do this.__

_If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home_

_There's an awful lot of breathing room_

_But I can hardly move_

_If you're gone - baby you need to come home_

_cuz there's a little bit of something me_

_In everything in you_

I get up and walk in front of Sally's desk so I can look her in the eye. I'm so nervous that she'll reject me, that I'll be alone again, if that happens I'm not sure what will happen to me. When she finally looks up and looks me in the eye I begin to apologize for everything, I can only pray she'll forgive me.

_I think you're so mean - I think we should try_

_I think I could need - this in my life_

_I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much_

_I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing_

_ _

_If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home_

_There's an awful lot of breathing room_

_But I can hardly move_

_If you're gone - baby you need to come home_

_Cuz there's a little bit of something me_

_In everything in you (x2)_

_ _

_ _

   [1]: mailto:Relena_Darlin_Peacecraft@gundamwing.net



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